20160215
若要形容我的其中一面是，我根本不喜歡外出，卻有時需要外出。
自己的房間說明是自己的，在自己的窩裡，就不用理會第三者的感受或指指點點，都不用向人交代我此刻在做什麼。少了猜忖別人的心思，多了自己生活的時間，那不是很好嗎。
可是，配合家庭的活動我倒是樂意，就是在這個屋苑以內隨便找一間餐廳就好。和教會的他們一起渡過下午，就不管哪裡我都想去。說明白就是，若我會犧牲一天裡僅餘的獨處時間，原因必定是為了我愛的人。
可能我是帶著某個目的與你見面，但那個目的最多只是一個推動力，若配上的齒輪不是你，也就不能轉動。
雖然，跟我逛街一定是百無聊賴，因為我慣於忙於跟你相處，就忘了眼前花多瞭亂的，到底是哪一間商店，你問我的哪件衣服好看，我就答不上。
PS 現在我就沒有什麼心機寫，今天在腦海想寫的早已消失去。
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Please do not expect a particular event must not be going to happen, sometimes someday your idea will bring you torture. When we are saying there is nothing new under the sun, do we truly believe in it? Maybe those events may take place one after one. Just like newspapers are published every day, their natures are mostly the same, and even if you have replaced the news by those happened long time before, few will discover if they just woke up and saw the paper as the first exposure to the news that should be on the newspaper. It seems like a sarcastic joke, if we believe there is something new under the sun, and we keep our life dull and flat as not the past nor the future is important but the moment is to us. Maybe we should change, though many tried in the past and met many troubles and did not succeed to change the world not even himself. I wonder if failing to change to world to fit our dreamy fantasy is in fact one kind of humanity. But we are destined with not improving then going to fail. The conclusion is, dream is indeed crucial but to make it come true with no fear and consciousness and the right goal is even more crucial.
//今天好像有股正能量湧進了我體內，聽見早兩天覺得扎心的歌居然想哭而且伯想笑著哭，與友人聯繫就是從未試過的自然，很單純的就覺得每一件事都很可愛。可能是因為昨天把心底話寫了出來，覺得根本就事無不可對人言。但是，我希望用更長的時間觀察自己，然後才可立下一個我肯定的結論。
整天我都感到很快樂，可能這種是我最近開始羨慕別人擁有的，可能它就是喜樂。
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